Hulmes on a Stick

can i take that back?

2011-01-23T22:27:00.001-07:00

today was sunday. sunday means we dont watch normal tv shows, but only watch movies and sporting events. today was a combination of australian open and total recall. ever seen total recall? its a typically 80's this-is-what-the-future-will-be-like movie. my only comment: i hate schwartzenegger. anyways, if you have seen it, remember the part when he is told to put this thing up his nose and out come a tracking device?

at this point in the movie, this conversation ensued:

brian: oo a tracking beacon.
me, correcting him: a beaker.
after a short pause...
me: did i just say beaker?
brian, laughing: yes you did. thats a little different than a beacon. and you thought you were so right.
me: shut up.
brian, singing to himself: my wife is a little bit handiiiiiii.....

no wonder my grades werent so up to snuff this semester.

sleep, interrupted

2011-01-14T14:54:00.000-07:00

i am a very light sleeper. brian is not. but ive gotten used to him in the bed so i dont usually wake up unless something weird happens. such as last night.

BANG!

me, slightly concerned: did you hear that really loud noise?

brian, slightly irritated: yes, it was me.

me: what were you doing?

brian: ...ill tell you later.

a few minutes later: bang!

me, groggily: brian, stop it.

in the morning...

brian: so i had a dream last night that i was playing baseball. i stretched out to catch a ball. i must have hit the wall with my arm.

me, laughing: so thats why you felt the need to punch the wall? because you were playing baseball in our bed?

brian, grumpily: if it wasnt for the wall, i would have caught the ball too.

me: ....so did you try to catch it again later?

brian: no i was reaching for my alarm clack but the wall the closer to me than usual. stupid wall.

wait, im not sick of you yet?

2010-12-30T00:28:00.000-07:00

today is our anniversary.

2 years.

ALREADY?! i have no idea how that went so fast

but i love this boy :)

winken, blinken, and nod

2010-11-29T18:26:00.000-07:00

our nighttime rituals are kinda normal.
brush our teeths, read scriptures, say prayers...
but nothing with brian is totally normal. take last night for example...

brian: you are a little scoop of ice cream.
me: are you calling me fat?
brian: no you are a little scoop of sweet goodness...STOP POKING ME!

a few minutes later...
brian farted under the blanket
me, ripping the blanket off of him: ew!! you are banned from the blanket!
brian, ripping the blanket back, clearly distressed: no! thats not fair, i pooped today! (i guess thats supposed to be a mitigating circumstance?)

a few minutes later...
me: honey, are you gonna read first, or just go to sleep?
brian: mmmm...i dunno. let me grab my book and the mark where i got bored.

a few minutes later...
brian, cuddling me: you know whats funny? the light is off but you are STILL talking!

nevermind. our nighttime rituals are weird.

my friday night

2010-11-19T21:16:00.002-07:00

my little brothers (ok fine, my little brothers in law, but who is counting?) have CoD black ops and brian has been dying to go over there and play it ever since he got a little taste of it last week. right now i am sitting between bri and another brother of mine, mike, while they play black ops. both boys are yelling at the tv because they keep dying, and it is resulting in some funny things...

brian: GAH! i just shot him in the crotch like a 100 times! why didnt he die??? ANYONE would die after getting shot in the crotch.

****

brian: i killed something!

****

brian: ha! i had more kills than you...HA!

****

mike: there are pictures of fake people everywhere?? thats stupid.

****

mike: im just gonna sit here and stab someone in the knee cap...

****

mike: this is why i like being on the headphones. so i can tell them how nerdy they are.
brian: yeah, so when they are like, he he he, i killed you, i can be like, haha...YOU ARE LAME!

****

brian: i suck so bad at this. freaking nerds.

****

mike, talking to his little bro: you can take the tv from my room and watch it in there...
me: you have the headset on? can they hear you?
mike: yeah.
me: haha, have they said anything about your random conversation?
mike: nope, im the only one with a headset so i can say whatever i want.
me: and they just have to listen to you?
mike: haha yup. ::in a deep voice:: honey, do you want a blanket? honey stop biting my butt cheek...

Snugarena!

2010-11-03T22:47:00.003-06:00

have you seen this commercial? it is ridiculous. lets have a snuggie dance party, right? do you see the title? the SNUGARENA?! how cheese ball.

anyways, watch the commercial. at the end, the guy shows the camera a snuggie center fold. you cant blame brian for this:

brian: what? SNUGGIE PORN?!

and the GIANTS WIN IT ALL!

2010-11-01T21:03:00.001-06:00

the giants won the world series!!!

NOONE is happier than brian right now.

ok, im a close second.

YAY GIANTS!!!! we are so proud of you guys!

twitterpated

2010-10-27T08:47:00.001-06:00

today Apolo Anton Ohno was on the today show. i really like him. and i think he is cute. during the winter olympics, brian got a little jealous and took to calling him my boyfriend...

me: my boyfriend is on the today show!!
brian: the skater boy?
me: yes!
brian: i knew it. its ok. all my boyfriends are on tv tonight.

maybe i need to start blocking espn for both our sakes...

the giants win the pennant!

2010-10-24T19:45:00.001-06:00

last night we watched the Giants v. Phillys game, cheering for the giants (DUH!!). not only was the end of the game met with much jumping [good thing we dont live above anyone-yay basement apartments...], but the whole game was high anxiety. if you arent familiar with the giants style of play, they are like the utah jazz-a last inning team. another word for it? TORTURE! oh, but torture never had such great results. brian particularly had some strong feelings, just not the ones you might expect...

brian, talking to the seth a few hours before the game: yeah buster posey is my boyfriend, and i have a man crush on kung fu panda.

brian, when Affeldt was put in: if Affeldt wins us the game, ill have to cheat on buster with him...

a few minutes later...

brian: GIMME A KISS, AFFELDT!

a few minutes after that...

brian, looking at me: i may need to start seeing other people, honey.

im just glad that these men all live very far away from us.

WE ARE BYU FOOTBALL!

2010-10-23T18:02:00.000-06:00

today we went to the BYU football game. it was great-it rained AND we won!! the perfect football saturday. on our way home, in the post game hell that is traffic, brian couldnt help but comment on this guy's sticker on his car...

brian, reading the sticker: university of utah, huh?
brian, looking at the guy as we pulled up yet to him: yes, im judging you right now.

dry spell

2010-10-21T15:03:00.000-06:00

brian has been unfunny recently.

usually when he is really sleepy/hungry/grumpy he says some pretty funny/random things.

but he has been super busy with hw [boo] and now he is just unfunny and grumpy.

instead, here is a funny picture of him-a self portrait after snapping his tooth off when we were dating a few years ago. this is post midnight root canal in which i assisted, and then promptly swore i would never EVER consider dental school. i would say the meds did this, but im pretty sure he would have done this sober too.

yes, im married to that face. adorable huh?

late night caffeine run

2010-10-13T21:57:00.000-06:00

brian, getting ready to go get me a coke: im gonna put on a hoodie. thats it. no shirt underneath. im scandalous...[breaks into song] scandalous, that girl is so scandalous, that girl is a baaaad giiiiirrrrl....

i will do some questionable things for diet coke, but this alone was worth it.

heaven and hell

2010-10-12T14:29:00.000-06:00

sometimes, there is no explanation for brian.

me: ew there is a bug in my water!

brian: yeah right. there's no such thing as bugs.

me: then what was the gross spider? [the one in the earlier story]

brian: the devil.

wanted: longer days

2010-10-07T19:58:00.000-06:00

today brian came home kinda grumpy and really tired. he was kind of pacing and i didnt know what he was doin, but apparently i kept distracting him from his mission...

brian, exacerbated: stop talking to me! i need to eat, so no. i cant come look at that right now and i cant kiss you right now. im starving. i need to eat first.

a few moments later...

brian: i need to urinate.
me: i thought you needed to eat.
brian, in distress: i know, i do! there isnt enough time in the day for me to the things i need to do!

...

breakfast of champions

2010-10-06T15:44:00.001-06:00

brian and i like to make big breakfasts on saturday or sunday mornings. they usually are some concoction of eggs, hash browns and sausage. as poor college students, we dont buy high class sausage. we buy the kind that is saran wrapped and looks like a giant flat patty of ground beef. so i usually freeze it, requiring some effort in the morning...

me, in response to hearing chopping in the kitchen: what are you doing??
brian, who is wielding a huge knife above his head: i was trying to karate chop it...

pimp-luscious

2010-10-04T09:39:00.000-06:00

brian has decided that we need a pet. a red eyed tree frog to be exact.

he had frogs when he was a kid and the idea has just grown into the ultimate wish for a christmas froggy.
he asked me if we could get one, or if we could ask for it for christmas and i told him i couldnt agree to that until i had held one. thus this conversation transpired...

brian: what are we doing this weekend? can we go to the frog store so you can hold one?
me: sure. do you think animal ark will have frogs?
brian: i dunno. but maybe they will make them for us.
me, laughing: what, like out of crepe paper?
brian: no. they will make the frogs have sex. they are their pimps.

operation: scavenger hunt

2010-10-02T13:37:00.000-06:00

brian had a birthday this week.
and he knew exactly what he was getting. the mac computer than he needed for school/work.

sssssssssooooooooooo i had to make him earn it!
i made him go on a scavenger hunt.

first he came to my carrel to get me once he was ready to leave but i wasnt there! instead, there was a happy birthday sign and a sign to open my carrel. inside was a bag of m&ms and a clue. brian at first thought the sign (which had an arrow on it) meant to open my water bottle...he was a little confused at first haha but he figured it out.

the next clue was in the car (i hid it the day before) and it took us to dinner as mi ranchito. the clue i was gonna give him there wasnt planted yet so i had to figure out a way to do it. lucky for me, he was in the bathroom when we were seated so i stuck it under the table. after dinner i asked him where we were goin and when he realized i didnt have the next clue, he started looking all over haha.

the next clue took us to the park where he had to take some pics of us before he got his next clue. unknown to him, i had taken a pic of the clue!

we next went to his moms house where he had to go in the back yard , and then was directed to the attic. on the floor of the attic was an apple with a clue taped to it. oops! wrong kind of apple!

when he found the computer (with free printer, duh) he was happy. not the omg-i-wanted-this-so-bad kind of happy, but the i-really-wish-i-didnt-need-this-cuz-i-hate-apple-but-now-i-dont-have-to-reformat-my-external-every-day-after-class kind of happy.

id say i did good, and he was a good sport.

my favorite part? the mild look of irritation on his face when he realized i had tricked him into coming to my carrel but trying not to smile in glee at the m&ms in his hand.

a computer and m&ms. who could ask for more? certainly not brian.

spidered half to death

2010-09-29T21:23:00.000-06:00

this isnt so much about brian, as about us as a couple...

brian, standing on the porch looking at the doorway: holy crap! there is a HUGE spider right there! get me something!

me: here is a shoe, where is it?

brian: RIGHT BY YOUR FOOT!

me: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! (i retreat to the back of our apartment) what are you doing? are you gonna smash it?

brian: no, im gonna throw it at it.

me: no! you are gonna miss and make it run!

brian: no i wont, im gonna hit it.

brian throws shoe and misses, spider goes running to the love sac.

im safely in our bedroom screaming.

brian: im gonna spray it with break fluid....(sprays) AHHHH AHHHHHH!!!! (spider runs out from love sac) at least its running slower...

brian throws shoe at the spider, spider explodes.

brian grabs dust pan to sweep up spider.

me: dont use that! i dont want spider on it! use a paper towel!

brian: i am NOT touching it in ANY way, YOU do it!

me:......ok fine, just use it...

two people who hate spiders shouldnt cohabitat without an effective plan of attack.

lions and tigers and deers, oh my.

2010-09-28T11:17:00.000-06:00

we live on the lower part of a mountain, and deer can often be seen in your yard or laying in the gutter on the side of the road in the winter. we always had deer tracks through our yard, but this time, there was a deer right outside our door, precipitating this conversation...

me, looking out the door: oo there is a deer in our yard!

brian: i hate deer.

me: why?! they are like cute over grown mice with antlers.

brian: no they are like bears.

brian, looking out the door: good, there are no more bears in our yard.

this is why we have no pets.

PROJECT hilarious

2010-09-27T20:19:00.007-06:00

i am awful. its been over a year since i updated this thing, but that is going to change! to account for my lack of updating, i have a good excuse i promise.

last year was my first year of law school.

and i survived.

i think thats a great excuse.

and brian has been working full time until recently, since he just got into BYU's graphic design program.

my husband is going to be professionally awesome, basically.

so, in ode to my lack of ability to keep up long term updates, im starting a new project.

if you know my husband, chances are you have seen brian pull the most random things ever out of his butt.

if you dont know my husband, you are going to get to know his funny bone. and if you get to know him after reading this, you might have a hard time believing

its the same person.

but he is.

i promise.

this is the project's debut:

brian: i totally just wiped that test's butt with my brain.

me: do you know your score?

brian: no. unless AWESOME is a score.

he is such a smarty pants.

summer loving...

2009-08-12T14:50:00.003-06:00

ok ok, i know, its been forever since we have updated this thing-SORRY! we (read that Alex) is going to try to keep this thing more updated, though brian will always be adding his special touch too. since our last post, we have done alot, so ill just highlight the biggest things: we bought a car-brian's beloved Suzuki Samuri dubbed Stanley which we take rock crawling and is just a fun car. in june we also went back to Danville, CA where brian is from to see his best friends from high school molly and steve get married...we kinda started the wedding barrage with his friends bc another got married just this week (congrats libby and david!). it was way fun to see his friends and to get away from utah for a few days. we also went to nj for a week at the end of july to see my grandparents with my mom and dad and little brother. it was fun but not quite what brian was expecting haha. besides spending a whole week with inlaws, my grandpa is not the docile-old-man type. more like the iron-man-that-cant-be-stopped type. and when you are around, he expects you to help-which is fine, but there is a difference between vacuuming the pool (a chore usually preserved for the girls) and lets go chop down 5 trees. it took some getting used to, but we were pretty busy besides that and at least didnt have to accompany my grandpa when he had a lamb slaughtered....

so, as summer is winding down, i am counting down the days left of work. its not that im-so-super-stoked-for-law-school-that-i-could-pee-my-pants, its more of a no-more-brainless-work and freedom-from-call-center type feeling. thoughts on law school: wow. weird that im even saying that im starting law school in a week. yeah i am excited. but im also really scared! so many people and books and professors say that the first year is the hardest, and since highschool my track record for good grades has been lacking. brian thinks im nuts...i know its going to be hard but im sure in a few weeks i will agree about my level of sanity. i guess there are two things that comfort me: first, this is something ive always wanted to do; yes i want to help people, and yes its decent money, but i dont know that i can point to anything in particular that has propelled me this way. because of that, im hoping that i have no expectations that will be let down, and ill just be working towards this thing that feels right to me. second, having brian around. i know that when i get stressed i do two things-work feverishly until i cry, or abandon all hope and homework and go do something else-neither of which are all that productive...i know that brian will be there to tell me to chill out, snap out of it, and for the times that i will have a break, ill have him to distract me and encourage me. ::sigh:: i get all nervous butterflies whenever i think about it. but i start next week and brian is so supportive so i guess i have to admit...im getting excited... :) alex

wintizzle

2009-04-07T21:13:00.011-06:00

Brian and I went to the Hara Krishna temple in Spanish Fork one saturday in march. every year they do what is called the festival of holi...basically its a celebration of the end of winter and the beginning of spring and summer and you throw colored chalk at each other. <-this is us in the car before the festivities...teressa, stephen, david, and marianna (teressa's sister) all went too.

we had to park a million miles away because over 6 thousand people went...and a few never made it since they stopped paying attention while drivin and got in accidents on the freeway...we were a little late so we got the see the initial burst of chalk from the people at the temple...you can see the cloud and just to the right of it is the cream colored temple...that will give you some idea just how HUGE the chalk cloud was.

this is us,

post chalk! 90% of the chalk on me was actually in my hair...needless to say my shower was very colorful haha. because we got there late, most people were already chalk covered, so we just made out way into the crowd and began throwing the chalk we bought before hand. im still sneezing pink, two weeks later.

we also went to a grizzlies game...they are the minor league hockey team for utah. after watching the nhl and being used to watching professional hockey twice a week, it was a little slower than we were used to but it was still fun! and it was a good excuse for an actually date hehe.

though we dont have pictures, here are other things we have done this winter: went snowboarding (not nearly as much as we want but brian and his brothers found snow drifts to play on), bought rockets, made and shot off rockets, scrapbooked (hah! not brian...), bought nhl gear-go sharks!, not been laid off (alex), been laid off (brian), made summer plans, finalized law school admission, watched hockey twice a week, sometimes watched two hockey games at a time, bought a futon (thanks mom), discovered alex went to ikea as a kid in germany, did our own taxes, got great tax returns, sold my apartment (finally), got fat (both of us), ate gross food (sorry brian, i dont profess to cook!), learned how to like cooking, been social, been anti social, wore an apron (granny made it :), ate fondue mmm, and overall, just loved being married!

2009-03-04T19:47:00.004-07:00

so life since we have been married has not changed much from the day to day for me. as most of you know, i work at a scrapbooking company called Close To My Heart as a Consultant Services Rep...basically i yak on the phone all day to people who dont read our updates and get mad when i give them answers they dont like. its not a bad job actually, most days are good and happy, and i am lucky to have made it past the recent layoffs that affected more than half of my dept. that being said, on the bad days i cant wait to get home and burrow into the lovesac and watch lost with a longing that rivals my desire to go back to california. obviously quite a bit. but in august i start law school...yay for brain usage! sometimes i feel like the last few months have demonstrated the worthlessness of my degree and i cant wait to say im actually doing something useful haha. oh yeah, and its my life long dream. thats pretty gratifying too. in the meantime, i am embarrassed to say that brian and i have recently subscribed to some shows i would rather not admit to....::cough cough:: american idol... BUT to balance that out, we do also watch awesome shows like Americas Best Dance Crew, which i am proud to say is the best dance show ever. sorry benji, i like so you think you can dance, but mostly just cuz i like you and lacey. :) so thats a snapshot into my daily life. feel free to envy the lack of homework. ♥ alex

If you liked Quest Crew, you can vote for them by texting 2 to the number 22444. I've already done it like fourty-three times, and I'm confident my fourty-three votes will carry them to the title of America's Best Dance Crew. Speaking of America, Best, and Crew, what's with the San Jose Sharks? It's like they don't ever care about winning anymore... Hopefully that rubs of before the playoffs. On a more seriouser note, the Graphic Design program decided not to offer summer term classes, so I can't apply to my program till next YEAR. oh well... Well it looks like the groundhog didn't even come out of his cozy little home, because here comes SPRING! Though I hate to see the snow leave us, I'm excited for disc golf, camping, freebording, and a little bit of friendly (it's not competitive because I always win. Unless Randy's playing... then he changes the rules so he wins) BADMINTON!! Well it's time to make like all of the BYUSA candidate posters and blow over. Toodle-oo.

Denver-the mile-high and mile-far airport city

2009-01-19T21:58:00.010-07:00

Honey. So sweet, like our love for each other. Moon, so bright, like our personalities. Together, we had sweet personalities. Or a honeymoon. That took place in Denver (well actually, partly outside of Denver... the airport is like 45 minutes away from Denver... shouldn't it be called the Not-Quite Denver International Airport?) Anyways, we ate at a place called Mulan Landing. Obviously asian. It was a mix between a chinese restaurant, a bar, and a beanie babies outlet store. The waitresses could only say thank you, but only after we would say thank you first. Needless to say, the orange chicken was chicken with oranges on top of it. And we wanted to trade the hot tea for soda, but they just couldn't quite grasp the concept of making adjustments. THANK YOU! The best part of the meal was the sweet pictures we took of our rings. Speaking of rings, we went to the Denver Zoo. Ok, so it has nothing to do with rings, but it has animals, and animals are in the circus, and circuses have rings. Anyways, we took lots of pictures. Like check this one out: That's a real bear! And Brian can jump as far as a grasshopper! Well enough of that. We went to Breckenridge (ever heard of it?) And it was HUGE!! Bigger than that polar bear, by far. Beautiful day, sunny, crowded (skiiers...), and crappy beginner parks. But it was still sweet, the trails were all super wide and open, but still steeper than bunny slopes. Oh, and traffic was so bad because it's a three lane road and it suddenly merges into one lane. Pretty awesome if you ask us. And now, our favorite part of the trip... A little place called Hacienda Colorado. We were looking for a restaurant that is native to Colorado, and we found this puppy. It's mexican food, but like the best food to ever touch our golden lips. Let me tell you a little story. They brought out our salsa and chips, and they were so dang amazing. Then they brought out our cups of water, and they were ginormous (like 7-11 big gulp style). They they brought out our chimichangas (Brian had a chickichanga, and alex had a barbacoachanga). HUGE!!! and AMAZING!! oh, and the refried beans and bean soup stuff... AMAZING!! We wish there were a Hacienda Utah. Maybe that would take our minds off the crappy Utah drivers... Bleh... Well we're as tired as a bundle of asians, so we're gonna hit the straw mat... i mean lovesac. i mean bed. Yay for marriage and mexicans and their food!

I'm not an Eagle Scout, but I sure tied one heck of a knot!

2009-01-08T21:42:00.005-07:00

Being married is like a Haiku. It typically contains a kigo. And it's beautiful. And poetic. And Japanese. My wife, on the other hand, thinks marriage is more like a limerick. Which makes me think of leprechauns. Speaking of which, we watched a movie on Hulu.com where a kid finds a bunch of five-leaf clovers. So what I'm getting at is marriage is a journey, just like this blog. Enjoi. love (in a hetero way), brian

i can agree with the journey part but i dont know about all the references to poetry...i hate poetry so id rather not associate marriage, which is awesome, with something i gag over. so today is day 9, and it still feels a little weird in the oh-wait-i-live-here-too kind of way but i love it. the last time i regularly went to bed at 930 was when i was dying over early morning seminary...but this time im not a loser for it! and if you can get a lovesac out of the deal like i did, then i highly recommend it (thanks mom in law!). peace. luff with all the fluff, alex